The Healer’s Journey from Wounded Healer to Inspirational Communicator
You can be gifted at healing. That healership can take many forms. If you have the GIFT OF THE HEALER, however, you are required to grow into it and show up as a healer or inspirational communicator. Ignore this call to duty? You get penalized. Argh!
That’s the truth behind all of the gift marking that show up in a person’s hand. You have a gift, you have a responsibility. Simple as that.
Do you have the markings of the gifted healer also known as Medical Stigmata? If you do, spend a little time with me as we explore the journey you must embark on to use your gift for others and for yourself.
Inspect these hands and then look at your own. The hands marked in green show a hand with and without the vertical lines under the pinky (Mercury) fingers. Can you see the vertical lines on the unmarked hand? That’s what you’re looking for.
If you have at least 4 verticals, your focus is on healing yourself. Five or more verticals, you have the gift of the healer. Eight or more? You are to be a Healer of Healers.
Bottom line, Gifted Healers are change agents and growth catalysts.
Let’s look at the stages of your journey. And, of course, the penalty for not being on the path of the true healer.
The Healer’s Journey
Phase I • The Wounded Healer
If you have these vertical lines-medical stigmata, then you are wounded in some way. Aren’t we all really? The skills you gain while learning to heal your own wounds and claiming your gift, however, are going to be the key skills you’ll need to help others heal.
Are you attracted to other healers, and books on healing and classes on healing? Are you the first person friends and colleagues turn to for good advice or gentle support, but you’re not always getting in return? OR perhaps the 1st to give good advice but rarely apply it to yourself? It’s the good therapist who’s own life is a mess, story!
Have you identified what part of your life needs healing? Maybe it’s about relationships, your body, overcoming doubt/stuck in indecision or some phobias/fears that keep you from building the life you want, ________fill in the blank.
By healing your own wounds, you become the MODEL for others. Now you’re ready for the next phase as you continue to learn and seek support for what part of you needs healing.
Phase II • The Witness
The Gifted Healer, at his/her best, has finely honed communication skills. So if you’re always giving advice and telling folks what is best for them, you’re communication skills are not honed! Healers who haven’t mastered this phase, can get into co-dependent relationships and tend to try to FIX people. Hmmm! Wonder how that’s working for you and for them??
The healer becomes a witness to the journey of others. The skills needed here are:
- Takes the time to listen to your own still, quiet voice within…so that you can learn to trust that voice (remember the virtues of Phase I?) You are the witness as well as participant in your own healing
- Listens actively and deeply to another person
- Using the Healer’s gift of keen psychological insight you become a keen observer of body language, facial expression. You notice the subtle shift in a person’s emotions and word selection. You know if they are ready to heal themselves.
- Is curious about where they are now and asks questions (with permission) showing that curiosity
- Builds trust as you allow the other person his/her emotional landscape and have set appropriate boundaries
Phase III • The Guide
You’ve mastered the Wounded Healer and the Witness….now you’re ready to be the healing guide.
The person’s ready. She’s chosen you as a member of her support team. Perhaps you’ve gently guided her to this point of readiness with your witnessing and modeling skills.
One of my colleagues describes giving the right kind of support as: Comfort when you need it; Perspective when you need it; and Encouragement when you need it. I love this!
Your job as the guide is to inspire the person to take action in their own behalf. You function as a change agent and a growth catalyst, but you’re not there to give them the blueprint. It’s up to them to create one for themselves with your wise guidance.
Because you are now the inspirational communicator, the person who is ready to heal herself is motivated by you, trusts you and feels safe with you. Really powerful stuff!
Phase O • The Penalty Phase
The penalty comes when you’re not walking your healer’s journey – consciously stepping onto your healer’s path in order to develop the skills necessary to heal yourself and others.
As I said in the beginning, each gift that shows up in your hand comes with penalty if you’re not using it. The Gifted Healer’s Penalty looks like this:
- Blocked Intimacy – no intimate relationship; avoiding asking for what you want and need in the relationship you do have (or lost touch with what you need); “just friends here” w/o deepening the trust and love necessary to have an intimate partnership
- Withdrawal and Isolation – this comes with blocked intimacy and lack of trust in general. The healer needs to be so deeply in touch with what trust is in order to be healed and to heal others
- A series of co-dependent/enabling relationships that go no where
- Friends and family who flee because you’re always trying to fix them. They may need fixing! The problem here is you haven’t figured out the communication skills yet. And they may not be ready anyway.
So, GIFTED HEALER, we need you in the world. Are you willing to do what it takes to bring your healership out from behind the curtain? Hope so.